Wait. Stop. I have a story.

21st Birthday Proposal to my parents

Dearest Mommy and Daddy,

I would first like to make it known that you two are the most amazing parents to have ever walked the Earth. I know I was a little rough around the edges but you have done your job so well (genetically and morally) in raising me that I am now shining like a diamond. It has been a pleasure being your daughter for the past 20 years so this September let’s celebrate my birth in the most thrilling way.

Just so there is no confusion as to what I mean, I have created a list persay about possible celebratory events.

1. If you watched the Super Bowl on Sunday February 3, 2014, there was a Mercedes Benz commercial releasing the newest model, CLA. With a reasonable price tag and unsurmounted luxurious features, this is a practical, beautiful and useful gift.

2. Since we are celebrating my 21st year, what better way to become legal than a trip to Napa Valley California. Of course you two are invited. I couldn’t think of anyone else I would rather spend time with vineyard hopping for a weekend. Cheers!

3. This past summer vacation definitely was my favorite by far. Even with the 36 hour day in London, that experience was so amazing. Emotions were so high during the bike race I couldn’t have asked for a better way to end a great vacation. That being said, We grew up doing winter sports. Sochi Russia 2014 would be THE BEST EXPERIENCE EVER. I have already registered for a username and password, so that is taken care of. We should plan around February 15th and 16th so we can watch Ice Hockey, Speed Skating, Alpine Skis, Snowboarding, and Bobsleighs (ideally).

Preparations need to be made in advance so I just want to give you the most amount of time needed to think these over. No rush but my birthday is in 221 days.

I love you very much.

Your best (and only) daughter,

Adrienne

ps. whoever reads this first, please pass on the message to the other

pps. your love is an inspiration to everyone (just saying)

ellendegeneres:

Keep Calm and Watch Ellen

animalstalkinginallcaps:

HEY, WE WERE WONDERING IF YOU’D LIKE TO-

JOIN OUR GANG OR DIE.

JUST BE IN OUR GANG, ACTUALLY. WE NEED-

TOUGH-ASS MOTHERFUCKERS WILLING TO POP OFF AT A MOMENT’S NOTICE.

SOMEONE TO WEAR THE GREEN HOODIE, IS WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY. IT’S NOT LIKE, FOREST GREEN, OBVI. WE’RE MORE OF A BRIGHT PASTEL-

BUNCH OF HARDCORE GANGSTERS DOING HARDCORE GANGSTER SHIT.

WE MOSTLY JUST GET PINKBERRY AND THEN HANG OUT IN THE PARK.

WORD. THE SCULPTURE GARDEN DOWN BY THE RIVER IS BEAUTIFUL IN THE FALL. ESPECIALLY WITH THAT NICE-ASS SUNLIGHT ALL REFLECTING OFF THE WATER AND SHIT.

TODD’S TRYING TO TOUGHEN UP OUR IMAGE. HE THINKS WE’RE A LITTLE ‘SOFT’.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

A NICE CHARTREUSE GREEN WOULD GO GREAT WITH YOUR HAIR.

HONESTLY, IT REALLY WOULD.

Men these days.

Chivalry is truly lost. During my time in Charlotte, I have been nothing but disappointed in the opposite sex. Dating is irrelevant in society today and men have no concept of asking a girl out, taking her out to dinner, taking her to a movie, taking her bowling… Most of the time, compliments are purely based on physical wants and not out of respect. and relationships are based on how soon we can get drunk together, do things, and then move on to the next girl… Has it ever crossed your mind that girls are not interested in that life? I would love to be treated like a lady, respected, and liked for being me. I’d love to have a guy who is interested in the same things I am- traveling, education, a successful future doing something you love, working out, eating healthy, adventuresome, and making the most of every situation. Why do we have to rush and get married? I’m 20 years old. Interested in dating. Interested in having a fun connection with a significant other. I just wish these boys didn’t have to be so degrading towards women and could actually be nice and caring. It’s sad to me that this is seemingly impossible.

Signed,

Probably forever single

p.s. this is why i love my dog so much. He’s the only male creature that actually adores me (besides my dad- but that’s required ;) )

Happy Birthday to the most wonderful person I know! I love you Olivia Piet. I couldn’t have asked for a better best friend! So much love ❤ @olivialeepiet